So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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