ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize