For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
