my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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