I want to make a zoo with you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize