I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize