I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
