I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
