its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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