I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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