Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
