Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
