areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
