He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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