I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
