addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
