Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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