I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
