4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
