quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
