Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
