i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
