but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
