i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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