I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
