it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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