i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
