I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's blow job season.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
