You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
