the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
