I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
