I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
