we have pet lesbian snakes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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