i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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