Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
