just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
