U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize