Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
