you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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