we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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