I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
