I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
