okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
