youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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