For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
