so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
