I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
high people should be assigned attendants
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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