You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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