He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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