dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
