My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think I just shit out all my problems.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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