I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
