I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize