And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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