You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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