My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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