Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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