Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
