I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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