You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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