my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
