On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
