i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
