She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
